Topic: Safecracking for Dummies

[Clive]

Everything you ever wanted to know about cracking safes.  

http://people.howstuffworks.com/safecracking.htm

I'm afraid that PC-Pals is not prepared to assist you in any costs incurred should you subsequently require legal representation after you are arrested by the police.  We do not promise to visit you in jail either.  However, it's Good Friday and the banks are closed so it's a good day to practice your new-found skills.  I'll let you know how I get on at my local branch of Barclays.  

[Dack]

Luckily you didn't try this one then:
http://ftp.die.net/mirror/hitman/

For anyone on PC-Pals who wants to be a Hitman  

[Clive]

Just wait until Chorleydave sees that one Dack!    PC-Pals does not condone unlawful killing unless approved in writing by at least 4 out of 5 Admin. Again, we will not contribute towards any legal expenses incurred nor promise to visit you during your prolonged stay in custody.

[Simon]

I can think of a few I'd happily sign for!