Topic: The Pure Evil Of The Firewall

[chorleydave]

Regulars here will know that I hate hackers with a passion - so much so that I desperately want to see one have its eye burned out with a poker and caustic soda poured into the hole - with the whole procedure televised globally, live and uncut so as to deter similar scumbags.

However, regulars will also know that the one thing I absolutely detest even more than the hacker is the thing designed to keep the hacker out - the firewall.  This type of program is nothing less than pure evil.  Saturday morning.  Switch on my computer and nothing but an empty desktop, not even starting in Safe Mode.  In goes the boot disk.  Get to the c:\ prompt and run Scandisk.  Message after message coming back at me that some Kerio (firewall) file is causing the problem.  No luck.  Try installing Windows over the top from the c:\ prompt.  Windows installs but still will not start.   Back to c:, insert floppy disk and spend hours at c: prompt copying my recent photos etc that I hadn't yet burned to CD to a blank hard drive in a spare computer.  Format c:.  

You get the picture?

This evening upgrading a friend's very old PC (200MB HD, 16MB RAM etc) before she gives it to her niece for her college work.  Hardware installed and on goes Windows.  Office package etc. installed and everything running smoothly.  Then niece turns up with a modem:

"Will I be able to get on the internet", she asks.

"I can't see why not", I reply.

Lid off and in goes modem.  

"Can you put these on for me?" niece asks, and hands me a CD with AVG anti virus and Sygate firewall.

"I'll put anti-virus on, but I would think long and hard before faffing about with a firewall", is my advice to her.

Nevertheless, I was talked into it, installed the barsteward thing, only to be met with Windows Protection Error.  Cannot load TEEFER.EXE.

The exact same problem that caused me to dump Sygate twelve months ago.

Uninstalled Sygate.  Problem still there.  Had to go home and look up on internet how to remove TEEFER from the registry.

I HATE FIREWALLS.

:tony:  :tony:   :tony:

[Clive]

There is nothing worse than spending hours trying to fix a silly computer fault Dave.  A whole evening totally wasted through no fault of your own.  I reckon we should be able to charge them for our time!  >

[Tony]

Dave Dave Dave, I guess your at that funny age where heart attacks are more likely   ...so why don't you just install Zone Alarm....it a doddle to work with, and it works.  

[chorleydave]

Well, the silly little moo continued to insist on a firewall (herewith referred to as "pure evil").  Therefore, I visited oldversion.com and downloaded and installed Zone Alarm version 2.0, the oldest one I could find there.  I reasoned that as older programs like Windows 3.1, Works 3, and Word 6 never used to crash and destroy the computer, the same might be the case with "pure evil".  Hopefully, in about twenty months' time, I won't have to sit at the c: prompt and use the copy command and numerous floppy disks to salvage two years of A-Level coursework, while she swallows Mogadon after the item of "pure evil" destroyed her set up.

Fingers crossed.

[Delgado]

Dave, whilst I dont wish to appear that I know it all, (far from it regarding computers) I am not a technical type, and I would be unable to install even the most simple piece of computer hardware, but I have tested and uninstalled almost every firewall out there. I have never had a problem with any of them except McAfee, which wouldnt work and was a swine to uninstall. I cant understand a chap with your   knowledge getting into such a mess! Maybe because you dont like firewalls they dont like you!!

 

[chorleydave]

Yep.  Definitely a case of mutual hatred!