The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition. Here are this year's 2005 winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
*******.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people
that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like,
the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good
for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after you step
on a bug