Topic: An Interview With Bob Hope

[Clive]

May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003

ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but
only downhill".

ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life
when even your birthday suit
needs pressing."

ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old
when the candles cost more
than the cake."

ON TURNING 100 "I don't feel old. In fact I don't
feel anything until noon. Then
it's time for my nap."

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING
"I ruined my hands in the ring
... the referee kept stepping
on them."

ON SAILORS "They spend the first six days of
each week sowing their wild
oats, then they go to church
on Sunday and pray for crop
failure."

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR "Welcome
to the Academy Awards or,
as it's called at my home,
'Passover'."

ON GOLF "Golf is my profession. Show
business is just to pay the
green fees."

ON PRESIDENTS "I have performed for 12
presidents and entertained
only six."

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS
CAREER "When I was born,
the doctor said to my mother,
'Congratulations. You have
an eight-pound ham'."

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL
GOLD MEDAL "I feel very
humble, but I think I have the
strength of character to fight
it."

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY "Four of
us slept in the one bed.
When it got cold, mother
threw on another brother."

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS "That's how I learned
to dance. Waiting for the
bathroom."

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES "I would not have
had anything to eat if it wasn't
for the stuff the audience threw
at me."

ON GOING TO HEAVEN "I've done benefits for
ALL religions. I'd hate to blow
the hereafter on a technicality."