Author Topic: AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT (Read 1633 times)

davy51 · « **on:** July 30, 2006, 20:46 »

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 7 - 6 Saturdays and 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Simon · « **Reply #1 on:** July 30, 2006, 21:03 »

chorleydave · « **Reply #2 on:** July 31, 2006, 01:09 »

Quote

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.[\quote]

Well, I work at a college and get fourteen weeks a year off for holidays and even I can't find the time to get everything done but I think I could manage if I had fifty-two weeks.

Sh1t, only five weeks left, I must get round to washing the dishes.
:twisted:

davy51 · « **Reply #3 on:** July 31, 2006, 02:11 »

it is awfully hard finding time to do anything but fish

Clive · « **Reply #4 on:** July 31, 2006, 07:34 »

I have to admit that I don't seem to achieve much these days!

Simon · « **Reply #5 on:** July 31, 2006, 13:37 »

Quote from: "Clive"

I have to admit that I don't seem to achieve much these days!

I think to be classed as a retired person, you first have to have *worked* for a living, Clive! That's you and me both screwed then! :grin:

Lona · « **Reply #6 on:** August 01, 2006, 01:50 »

Mr Lona still can't adjust to retirement. He hates being retired.

davy51 · « **Reply #7 on:** August 01, 2006, 14:30 »

Quote from: "Lona"

Mr Lona still can't adjust to retirement. He hates being retired.

the secret is finding something to keep you busy

Sandra · « **Reply #8 on:** August 02, 2006, 00:01 »

Mr Lona told me that he used to go to work to have 8 hours a day peace and quiet away from the wife :wink:

davy51 · « **Reply #9 on:** August 02, 2006, 01:17 »

:whistle:

:ouch: