Topic: Why I Like Retirement

[Clive]

Question:
How many days in a week?
Answer:
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question:
When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:
Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question:
How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:
Only one, but it might take all day.

Question:
What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:
There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question:
Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:
The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question:
Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:
Tied shoes.

Question:
Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:
They are the only ones who have the time.

Question:
What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:
NUTS!

Question:
Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question:
What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:
Normal.

Question:
What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:
The never ending Coffee Break.

Question:
What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question:
Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:
He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favorite one...

Question:
What do you do all week?
Answer:
Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!