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Author Topic: Laws  (Read 747 times)

Offline Clive

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Laws
« on: November 10, 2006, 15:48 »
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.



Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity
of your act.



Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.



Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.



Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to
move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).



Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with



Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.



Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive
last.



Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.



Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
lockers.



Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor
covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.



Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.



Law of Logical Argument:

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.



Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.



Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.



Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.




Offline mistybear

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Re: Laws
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2006, 09:03 »
When ever I take an umbrella it doesn't rain, when I forget, yep, it does.

Last week, when I walked up to do some shopping, half way there it started raining, of course I had forgotten to take the umbrella. By the time I got to the bank I was dripping, so I went across the road and bought an umbrella, as I had to go a lot further and it didn't look like stopping anytime soon.
Left the shop opened the umbrella turned the corner and it stopped.
My record is intact, quickest way to stop it raining buy an umbrella. :dunno:
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.

Offline Clive

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Re: Laws
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2006, 10:09 »
 :lol: 


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