HAMAS - used by Geordies to bang nails in
Ransom - to jog a short distance
Insolent - fell off the Isle of Wight ferry
Fibre Optics - the healthy alternative to eye candy
Meander - she and I
E-mail: What they say up north when the post arrives
Canape: Scottish inability to settle bills
Renegade - A device for blowing up anagram enthusiasts
Haddock - An enclosure for seahorses
Pandemonium - A musical instrument that won't breed in captivity
Trolley - An abundance of trolls
Sweet Trolley - An abundance of delightful trolls
Female - the price of stamps
Propaganda - to have a really good look
Shenanigan. To refer to someones grandmother for a second time
Conundrum - sisters of the cloth drumming together
Privilege: toilet on a cliff
Sarcasm: Russian imperial gorge
Pikachu - To slyly look at one's companion
Bicycle - Gardening impliment that swings both ways
Armchair - To inflict damage on furniture
s**tzu - a zoo with just a dog
Shintu - what a japanese man calls his lower legs.
Eau de Cologne - a fart
Window - to gain a financial prize
Sentiment: The perfume he intended to buy
Parsnip - Dad's vasectomy
coffee - someone who is coughed upon
crustacean - a far eastern piece of bread
sometimes - getting your maths mixed up
garden - one who looks after chickens
Enjoy - happiness in chickens
Shampoo - a fake toilet break
Gymnastics- marking exercise books while keeping fit.
Patent- using camping gear as currency
Chastity- inviting one half of Chas and Dave for dinner
Buttercup - landing face down
ostracize - to measure an ostrich
ascribe - to write with one's behind
denizen - the blue material used in the jeans of an eastern philosopher
machination - to import an Apple Mac
Shyster: Opposite of a confidence trickster.
Overrated: To have eaten too much whilst in Somerset.
Worcester sauce: PG Wodehouse.
Coconut: Overenthusiastic fan of The Mikado.
Pomade: Australian derogatory term for English beer.
Admit defeat: What shoes do.
Tea lady: Female golfer.
Monkey: Resembling a monk.
Telegraph: Chart of viewing figures during Kojak.
Retrograde: Hair that has been dyed black.
egret - apology sent electronically
retard: difficult in yorkshire
Fatima Whitbread: someone who breaks wind in your beer
extracate: too much of Titanic
fornicate: too much bambi
overate: someone who's nine
pas de deux: father of twins
brandish: cereal bowl
crick: the noise made by a japanese camera
coq aux vin: chicken in a lorry ( sorry, that's so old)
semtex: duplicate text messsage in Newcastle
hardwear: doc martens
software: corderoy
barbituate: a quick lunch in a winery
soul searching: what you do when you can smell dog s**t
fanta: a thankew from from one of your appreciative supporters
Committee: Inmate of a lunatic asylum.
Bungalows: Where criminal bread products are hanged.
Portaloo: A form of Indian fortified wine, made with potatoes.
Earache: The opposite of homesickness.
Francophone (obs): French payphone.
Abbot: Robot monk.
Harvest: A comedy waistcoat.
Freedom: Gift from an anti-HIV campaigner.
Sublet: A small submarine.
Joint honours: Degree in osteopathy
Farewell - a just water hole
Nightingale - to sleep outside in a storm
Broker - more poor
Policy - like the police
success - to eat sewage through a straw
Hogmanay: someone who may be considered to have too large a collection of a particular Impressionist painter
Coq au vin - the French mobile Gigolo service
raffish - a flying fish
missive - wish I still had my sieve
stasis - asking your sister to remain still
imperviousness - a measure of the deviancy of an imp
omnipresent - a gift suitable for all occasions
Jewish - Almost a Jew.
Scottish - Almost a Scot.
Vanish - Almost a van
Twee - something growing in Jonathan Ross's garden
Countryside - Killing Piers Morgan
Lear - shorthand for left ear
Rear - shorthand for right ear
Timetable - sundial
Diary - what dyslexic farmers get from cows
carpet - domesticated animal living in your automobile
smelly - recipient of a sniff
Lip sync - A lady's intimate wash basin.
Rectitude - The angle at which a thermometer should be inserted.
Homophobe - Somebody who doesn't like The Simpsons.
Portent - The Millennium Dome
Dilatory - Conservative sex aid.
Circumnavigation - Bar Mitzvah on a cruise.
Flatulence - An emergency vehicle that picks you up after you have been run over by a steam roller.
Baptist - Junior hamburger chef.
Loophole - A very long lavatory brush.
Mastiff - Boys at a Britney Spears concert.
Rectitude - The angle at which a thermometer should be inserted.
Wallaby - Someone aspiring to be a kangaroo
Myself - Mythical mouse-like creatures
Paradox: Military Medics
Inspire: Where church bells are
Stereotype: Using two fingers on the keyboard
Turpentine: A Geordie highwayman
Jockstrap: A way to catch Scotsmen
magnum opus- a large Irish cat
creche- a car accident in woking
catastrophe - feline impersonation of award
Dichotomy - surgical procedure to remove a Welshman/Surgical procedure to remove a lesbian
Ambush - bacon-producing shrub.
Digress - Welshman in hypnotherapy
Plinth - The Artist Formely Known as Having Two Speech Defects
Proletarian - Someone who only eats common people.
Polygon - Missing parrot.
Polyunsaturated - Dry parrot.
Politician - Famous Italian painter of parrots.
Polygamist - Two-timing parrot
Carnation- A country full of automobiles
Donation- where Homer Simpson is King
Myth - Lisping, single woman
Legend: Toenails
Scum - just got here
Slippery - like a slipper
dandylion - big camp cat
suffocation - a week in lowestoft
Eee bah gum - drugs taken orally in yorkshire
Logarithm - lumberjacks contraception
Archery - lying
canteloupe - unable to run of to marry
Circumspect - spotted dick
Tentative - not sure about camping
Titulate - delayed puberty
Property- Earl Grey
Dedicate - deceased girlfriend
defined - got back the money from your speeding ticket
Damnation- Holland
Artichoke - Artistic strangulation.
Urdu: a Liverpool coiffure
Topic: New Uxbridge Dictionary Definitions (Read 4883 times)