Topic: Men are like.

[mistybear]

# Men are like....Animals
Messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but occasionally make great pets.

# Men are like.....Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

# Men are like....Beer.
The first sip is always bitter.
No matter how many varieties you try, they are essentially the same; tasteless, full of bubbles, destabilize your metabolism and give you a headache, but somehow they linger and you either can't finish one or you can't get enough.

# Men are like.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

# Men are like....Bras.
They offer light, medium and complete support.
# Men are like....Buses.
They come every 15 minutes.

# Men are like....Buses.
They have spare tires and smell funny.

# Men are like....Computers.
And a smart woman keeps a backup.

# Men are like.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

# Men are like.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

# Men are like.....Fires.
They go out if unattended!

# Men are like....Fine wine. They start out as grapes.
It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature.
And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

# Men are like.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

# Men are like.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

# Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion

# Men are like.....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

# Men are like....Oreos.
Once you eat the cream they aren't good anymore!

# Men are like.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table

# Men are like.....Recliners.
You pull the lever and they lay back

# Men are like....Teeth.
You ignore them - you lose them.

# Husbands are like....Children
They're fine if they're someone else's.

[Clive]

 

[Clive]

Why am I Married?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
*
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
*
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
*
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
*
A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
*
AA little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying"
*
A young son asked, "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
*
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
*
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
*
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
*
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
*
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
*
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "

[mistybear]

 

[gmax]

As a woman's womb fills, her head empties.