Topic: Rules To Be A Female...

[Clive]

Go to the loo with your mates...

Expect the man to buy the condoms...

Expose every weakness displayed by a man at any opportunity...

Complain..

Shop...

Argue...

When your man has to go away for a course or business, whinge like crazy that you are being left alone...

Complain...

Steal your fella's best shirt and stain it with make-up...

Be Unreasonable...

Take an hour to get ready...

Blame PMT...

Regularly change the name of PMT...

Interest in sex is proportionate to your age...

When your sexual interest is at its peak try to find a man of more mature years to satisfy you...

Blame "the change"...

Argue...

Squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end...

Put a circle of carpet on the loo seat cover so it falls down after 10-15 seconds...

Moan about men making a mess in your loo...

Complain...

Collect cuddly toys...

Leave soiled knickers on the bathroom floor...

Be Unreasonable...

Shop...

Tell your girlfriends your intimate sexual secrets...

Especially if you haven't told your boyfriend...

Complain...

Hate women with bigger chests than you...

Hate women who are thinner than you...

Hate women who talk to your man...

Hate women who look like they might talk to your man...

Hate women who once went out with your man...

Hate tarty looking women...

Hate frumpy looking women...

Hate women who wear more expensive clothes than you...

Hate women who wear cheaper clothes than you...

Hate women wearing the same clothes as you...

Complain...

Giggle with the girls...

Never laugh with a man, only at a man...

Drive badly...

Complain...

Drive men up the wall...

Be Unreasonable...

Drive other women mad...

Drive to the shops...

Shop some more...

Eat too much chocolate...

Be Unreasonable...

Diet...

Diet some more...

Complain...

Talk on the phone...

Leave your hair in the plug-hole...

Shop...

Whinge about drunk men...

Pick up drunk men...

Shop...

Complain...

Talk on the phone...

Argue...

Complain...

Shop...

Reason by being unreasonable...

Be Unreasonable...

Complain...

Fill the Golf GTI up with diesel...

Never reverse into a parking space no matter how small, better to bump the front wheel over the kerb. (The higher the kerb the better)...

Leave lotions and potions cluttered around the sink, so when ever anyone tries to wash their hands the "clutter" all falls in...

Shop...

Talk on the phone some more...

Complain...

Remember your in-laws birthdays...

Whinge about shopping for the in-laws Christmas/birthday/anniversary presents...

Be Unreasonable...

Compain...

[Simon]

That's done it! 

[davy51]

I didnt know you knew my ex-wife Clive

[Clive]

Oh they are all exactly the same Davy.  The blueprint was never updated.   

[Sandra]

Why try and improve on perfection Clive 

[Reno]

oooo, I was thinking someone had to be divorced to come up with something like that.

[mistybear]

Wow, I never realised what a busy life we lead.

And of course there's never any one around to help, is there.......

You blokes just don't realise how difficult it is to try and fit all of that into your daily schedule, no wonder I'm exhausted......

I think I need to lie down.... but who's going to cook dinner if I don't..........

Nothing ever gets done around here unless I do it. 

Sorry, was I whinging?

I think I need some retail therapy...... no, maybe some chocolate.... but no, I can't, I'm on a diet.