The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors.
They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the
actual responses by the website officials.
I might enjoy working there.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia?
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross,
straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum
trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia?
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help?
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Come naked.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Topic: Australian Facts? (Read 495 times)