The impossible I can manage - miracles may take a bit longer!
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For your benefit Simon.
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Yi ken a luv yi hen,
Yir a richt braw wee burd
An when a caw yi gorgeous
A mean wan and awe the wurds
So yir bum is oan the big side
A dinnae mind a dod o flab
It means that when am ready
There?s sumthin there tae grab
So, yir belly isnae flat nae mare
A tell yi a dinnae care
As lang as when a cuddle yi
A can git ma erms roon there
Nae wummin wha is yir age
Hae nice roon perky breasts
They jist gie in tae gravity
But a ken yi did yir best
Am telling yi the trooth noo
A widnae tell yi lies
A think it?s awfy sexy
That yiv gote dimples oan yir thighs
A swear oan ma grannie?s grave noo
The meenit that we met
A thote yi wir as gid as
A wis gonnae get
Nae mater whit yi look like
A?ll alwis luv yi dear
Noo shutit while the fitba?s oan
And gies anither beer.