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25 TRUTHS OF LAW ENFORCEMENT
1. The ?Check the Welfare? that looks normal?.. is hiding the body in the refrigerator.
2. The one on scene witness you didn?t document will be the culprit.
3. The major accident will occur whenever you consider going to get a bite to eat.
4. The nut you went in to overtime on the last shift to talk down, will commit suicide?.. near the end of your next shift.
5. Your squad will last through the pursuit, but run out of gas on the way to the jail.
6. Pepper spray is scientifically designed to stay on your hands??.and you WILL need to use the rest room after deploying it, thus creating the ?Pee-Pee Dance?.
7. When you arrive on scene, the guy without the shirt is the guilty party. hence the term "Shirtless Yard Ape"
8. When you take the guy who just beat his wife into custody, YOU will get blamed by the wife for being there, even though SHE called you.
9. You cannot solve in 15 minutes what the parents took 15 years to screw up.
10. To err is human, to forgive is not in your agency policy.
11. The violator will always do something stupid right in front of you (and everyone else) when you are on your way to eat, forcing you to pull him over.
12. When you stop the violator above, they will always have warrants and the jail will be backed up.
13. The calm guy you are supposed to issue a criminal trespass to, will turn out to be a 7 foot tall gorilla?? on speed.
14. The call for service that you damn near got killed on??.will be the easy call of the day.
15. When you finally get a new squad, your first arrest will puke in the back seat.
16. The butt you kick today may turn out to be the butt you kiss tomorrow, on administration?s order.
17. The equipment they promised to fund this year? is on backorder until next year.
18. The equipment you need to survive the encounter, will be locked in the armory ?for safety?.
19. Your squads battery will die, at the circle k, in front of 20 people, and a 10-16 call will follow your solenoid clicking.
20. Folks want you to be tough on crime?? until it?s their kid doing wrong, then you?re a jackbooted thug.
21. Your job is very rewarding, regardless of what your paycheck says.
22. Eat on duty and folks will wonder why you aren?t ?taking care of crime?
23. Folks will complain that it took you too long to get there, and that you were speeding.
24. Everyone watches CSI so they know more than you do, just ask them, they?ll tell you.
25. If they see you and run, they are guilty, and need a butt kicking for making you chase them in all that gear.
Topic: RULES FOR ROOKIES 101 (Read 470 times)