She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this."
After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.
Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a
plane but then he gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg. (plane = tool for shaving wood )
A gold miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm finished! Who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney."
I don't know how he's going to find anyone to fill her shoe
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said "he would get home at night and find her legless
I think that the reference to her alcoholism may have something to do with the split. Apparently she has a taste for Special Brew and is said to be able to drink 50 cans in a session. 50 Cans !!! Good grief, that woman must have hollow legs!
Hey we under estimate poor Heather, she's actually very intelligent you know! Last year she qualified for the World Chess Masters... unfortunately though she didn't quite make it to the second leg.
In happier times, Paul was taking Heather to the doctor for a checkup. He came to the nurse at reception and said "This is my wife with a prosthetic leg named Heather", to which the nurse replied "What's the name of her other leg?"
We call her Heather Mac half knee in our house.....
Its say she is planning to change her name, whats the chance she will pick the name Eileen (I lean).
What has three legs and lives on a farm? The McCartneys.
Defending herself in court was a legal minefield for Heather Mills (..... Rest assured there's no 'arm in it!)
Paul was upset with his wife Heather Mills because her favorite music was Hip Hop.
Poor Paul McCartney, I bet Heather is limping all the way to the bank.
What was Paul McCartney and Heather Mills favourite 70's Andy Fairweather-Low song? Wide-eyed and Legless !
After her outburst on UK TV, a medical spokesperson said that she was "clearly unbalanced" - Sir Paul phoned in & advised that placing a book under her leg usually did the trick.
Topic: Heather will be hopping mad at these jokes (Read 1161 times)