this is a good one
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress
party.
He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he
writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as
a Pirate.
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes
a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:
Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's
habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you
will really look the part.
The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone
from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald
head.
So he writes a really strong letter of complaint.
A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the
accompanying letter:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour
the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your
ass and go as a toffee apple.