A woman standing nude in front of a mirror, says to her husband,
'I look horrible, I feel fat & ugly, pay me a compliment.'
He replies: 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
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Wife gets naked & asks hubby,
'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy
body?'
Hubby looks her up & down and replies: 'Your sense of humour!'
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An elderly couple was attending Mass.
About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband,
'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'