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Author Topic: FUNNIEST DIVORCE LETTER !!  (Read 425 times)

Offline Clive

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FUNNIEST DIVORCE LETTER !!
« on: August 19, 2008, 16:18 »

>
> Dear Wife:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
> I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
> for it.
>
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
> you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
> haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
> silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
> watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you
> don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
>
> Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
> case, I'm gone.
>
> Your EX-Husband
>
>
> P.S.
> Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
> together! Have a great life!
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Dear Ex-Husband -
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a
> far cry from what you've been.
>
> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
> and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
>
> I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
> came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
> not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
>
> And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> with MYSISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the 49.99
> price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that
> my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
> So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and
> bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
> Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
>
> I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
> that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take
> care.
>
>
> Signed,
>
> Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
>
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
> Carl. I hope that's not a problem.



Offline mistybear

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Re: FUNNIEST DIVORCE LETTER !!
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2008, 16:30 »
 :muah:
Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities.


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