Doctor: "I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's"
Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
Patient to the eye doctor: "Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain." "Try to remember to remove the spoon from the cup before drinking."
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
I never make rash promises!
Doctor, Doctor
I can't stop stealing things
Take these pills for a week; if that doesn't work I'll have a color TV!
Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then!
Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?
Doctor Doctor
My daughter has just swallowed my pen - what shall I do?
Use a pencil!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail
Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!
Doctor, Doctor
I think I'm a cat?
How long has this been going on?
Oh, since I was a kitten I guess!
Topic: Doctor Doctor (Read 705 times)