Topic: Things Men Say

[Clive]

Find out what may really mean when they say...

"I'M GOING FISHING"

Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"

Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."

Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."

Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".

Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".

Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great boobs."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."

Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".

Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."

Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"

Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"

Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"

Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

[Simon]

Living dangerously, Clive!   

[Rik]

But for how long? 

[Simon]

Oh, with all the health food junk he puts down himself, he'll outlive the lot of us! 

[Rik]

 

Shouldn't be too hard...

[GillE]

"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop'....."

So do I!  I couldn't have been much more than three years old when it was on television, but afterwards my sister and I would go out playing cowboys and indians.  My sister's plastic pink potty made do as a cowboy hat - until the fateful day I tried to wear it after she had just filled it!

'F' Troop... now there's a rave from the grave .

[Simon]

My sister's plastic pink potty made do as a cowboy hat - until the fateful day I tried to wear it after she had just filled it!

Nice! 

[Clive]

 

[mistybear]

Every one of them is absolutely true. And might I add that I'm so proud of Michael making it to full manhood by qualifying in every one of those categories. And it just goes to show that it has nothing to do with how well they are brought up and trained. It appears to be an entirely natural phenomenon, unique to the male species. 

[Simon]

 

[Clive]

It's all in the jeans MB.   

[mistybear]

And the totally preoccupation of what's in the jeans and what it wants to do.

Michael was taking his girlfriend to the movies.
I asked him what movie they were going to see.
He just shrugged his should shoulders, you don't know and don't care, do you?
Nope!
It's all about the girl.
Doesn't matter what, where, or why.
Just the girl.
Total preoccupation.

[Clive]

Of course!    

[mistybear]

I must admit, that it's really quite sweet. 

He'll even do the unimaginable....... SHOPPING, and quite happily. 

[Clive]

Only cos he thinks it will be worth his while.