This married couple are on their way to a fancy dress party and they are dressed in a cow costume with the the bloke in the front and the woman in the back. Rather than walk along a busy road, they decide to take a short cut over a field. Suddenly, the woman hears running footsteps, and shrieks "oh my God, it's a bull coming, what shall we do?"
The bloke says "Well, I'm going to eat some grass... you better brace yourself"
and...
There's this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your baldhead and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate".
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a Monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part".
Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasising his wooden leg to emphasising his bald head and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint. The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads.....
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a tin of treacle. Pour the tin of treacle over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple."
