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Author Topic: Child Support Agency  (Read 827 times)

Offline Simon

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Child Support Agency
« on: August 26, 2009, 23:56 »
Some lovely girls here.....

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are (allegedly) genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, it takes the prize.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue here I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area, and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 46 Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
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Offline sam

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2009, 00:57 »
 :o :o :o
- sam | @starrydude --

Offline GillE

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2009, 02:21 »
They can't be from Norfolk - no mention of an inability to outrun their brother (who is also their great uncle).
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Offline Simon

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2009, 10:38 »
 ;D
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Offline Rik

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2009, 11:40 »
They can't be from Norfolk - no mention of an inability to outrun their brother (who is also their great uncle).

I wonder if being countyist is an offence? ;D
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Rik

Offline chorleydave

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2009, 11:45 »
They can't be from Norfolk - no mention of an inability to outrun their brother (who is also their great uncle).

Your sister is your mother
Your father is your brother
You're all sh**ging each other
The Norwich family

Offline Clive

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2009, 11:57 »
 :pmsl:

Offline Simon

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2009, 12:40 »
:lol2:
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Offline David

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Re: Child Support Agency
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2009, 14:42 »
 :pmsl:


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