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Author Topic: He said to me  (Read 1824 times)

Offline Serenity

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He said to me
« on: January 24, 2010, 21:09 »
He said to me... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him... You wear pants don't you?

He said to me... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said to him... That's a good idea - you stand by the stove and sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart.

He said to me... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time
 
He said to me... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him... I don't know; it’s never happened.

He said to me... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
I said to him... They already have boyfriends.

He said to me... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said to him... A widow.
 
He said to me... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


 :)x

Offline sam

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2010, 21:13 »
 :laugh:
- sam | @starrydude --

Offline Simon

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2010, 21:49 »
 ;D
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Offline Rik

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2010, 10:13 »
:lol:
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Rik

Offline Rodders

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2010, 10:25 »
That's it.  I've got the hump now. 

Offline Simon

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2010, 10:26 »
One hump or two?
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Offline Rik

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2010, 10:27 »
One or two, Rod? ;D Or what Simon said.  :laugh:
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Rik

Offline Rodders

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2010, 10:46 »
A woman's work is seldom done.   :(

The pecking order in my house is as follows:  Her, the bloody dog and then me.  And the only purpose of my existence is to clean up after those two untidy sods.  Kim & Aggie came round the other day, but took one look and refused to come in.  Don't talk to me about housework.  Aaaaaaarrrgh!

Offline Rik

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2010, 10:51 »
Alright, I won't. How's the weather? ;D
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2010, 10:53 »
:haha:
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Offline Rodders

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2010, 11:20 »
Alright, I won't. How's the weather? ;D 

Overcast with the occasional sunny interval, except for a brief period of heavy rain which is expected to commence the very instant I go home and take the bloody dog for a walk at lunchtime.   

Offline Rik

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2010, 11:26 »
You have such a good sense of timing, Rod. :)
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2010, 11:53 »
I usually find, on a nice day, we'll go for a drive down to the coast, and the weather will turn the very moment we park the car.
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Offline Rik

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2010, 11:55 »
In Scotland, you just sit and wait for a while and a different season will come along...
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: He said to me
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2010, 12:41 »
I managed a whole week on Skye in October in T-shirts. :)
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