I’ve invented a new smartphone. It’s called the irePhone 4 and it has a ten-hour standby time, which it wiles away by murdering kittens and sending lewd pictures to nuns. Very occasionally it will explode. Despite this, I’m confidently predicting that sales of the irePhone will be stratospheric, because I’m pretty certain the internet will have exhausted itself of apocalyptic hysteria by the time it launches.
I’m sad to say I missed Act One of the iPhone 4 show, though I believe there was clapping. Just in case anybody missed the hijinks, it turns out that once the clapping subsided people discovered their iPhone 4 drops calls, which is a bit like dropping grenades except nobody gets hurt, it doesn’t matter all that much, and we only care because Apple makes people sooooo mad.
Even that’s a bit strong, truth be told. Having seen how you have to hold the phone to make it purposefully malfunction, I can only assume crabs and other pincer-empowered crustacean weren’t part of Apple’s rigorous testing phase. Unlike its rivals, of course, who don’t put any phone on the market until its passed through the paws, claws, pincers and hooves of their in-house menageries.
More:
http://www.pcpro.co.uk/blogs/2010/07/20/meet-the-magical-irephone-4/