Zoo staff are having a problem getting their last remaining pair of mountain gorillas to breed successfully, so in desperation they explore alternative solutions.
Outside the zoo is gang of road workers and they realise that the big Irish navvy on the shovel would be a perfect match for the female gorilla, so they pop over and have a word with him.
The head keeper says "Paddy, we've selected you as a potential partner to mate with one of our gorillas. Would you do it for £500?"
Paddy says, "Yes, but dere's tree conditions." The keeper says, "Ok, let's hear them and we'll see if we've got a deal".
The Irishman says, "First, no kissing. Dat's taking it a bit too far." The keeper says, "No problem, we can train her not to kiss you."
"Secondly, I don't want me family finding out, so it has to be a secret."
The keeper replies "That's totally understandable and we'd be happy to respect your anonymity. What's the third condition?"
The Irishman replies "Could you give me a couple of weeks to raise the £500?".