Have you ever wondered exactly who is Jack Schitt? We often find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt.' Well, thanks to my efforts in Genealogy, you can now respond in a far more informed way.
Jack Schitt was the only son of Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt and was the proprietor of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She then became known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced one son of a rather nervous disposition whom they named Chicken Schitt , and another son, Piggin, who was always happy. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to travel around the world and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. Two of the other seven children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, Horse.
So, whenever someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can now confidently correct them.