Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here

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Q. How do you know when a blonde's having a bad day?
A. Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

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This blonde comes up to her mom and asks: Do babies come out where guys put their thingies? Her mom kind of astound says why yes.
She replies but wouldn't your teeth hurt?

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Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put her in a circle room and tell her there is a quarter in the corner.

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Q: What did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg?
A: Nothing, they've never met.

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Q: What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A: A blow job with handle bars

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A brunette walked into a doctors office and said" Dr. Dr.! It hurts all over, what should I do! Every where I touch hurts!" He touched every where asking if it hurt, and her reply was always no, he then asked "Were you once a blonde?" " Why, Yes" she said "How did you know?" Because you have a broken finger!

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Q: Why was the blonde mad when she got her drivers license?
A: She got an "F" in sex.

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Q. What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
A. Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth.

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Q: What do Santa, The Tooth fairy, and smart blondes all have in common?
A: They don't exist.

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Q: Why did the blonde jump off of the cliff?

A: Because she thought her maxipad had wings.

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Two blonde guys are driving a car on a very hilly road. They get to the top of a very high, steep hill and they start going down it very fast. The guy driving says "Oh my god! The brakes don't work!" and the guy in the passenger seat says "don't worry, there's a stop sign at the end of this hill."

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A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants to be a Millionaire....
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far, $500,000 and one lifeline left--phone a friend. The next question will give you the first ever million dollars if you get it right.... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000...are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure I'll have a go."
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it...
A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo or D-Thrush
Remember, Barbara, it's worth 1 million dollars."
Barbara: "Oh, gees, that's simple.... it?s a cuckoo."
Regis: "You're sure? You can stick on $500,000 or play on for the million."
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo."
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is"
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Absolutely"
Regis: "Barbara, you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. Well....you're right! You have just won 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping champagne, Carol turns to Barbara and asks, "Tell me, how in God's name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build it's own nest?"
"Get real!" Barbara replies, "Everybody knows cuckoos live in clocks!"

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Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
A: Oh look! Donut Seeds!

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A blonde walks into a shoe store and finds a pair of shoes she likes, she then asks the sales man what they are made of and the sales man says "they are made out of alligator", then proceeds to tell her that they cost $300.00. The blonde then says no way am I paying that much for these shoes, I?ll go and get my own. She then goes home, grabs a gun, and heads out to the swamp; she sees an alligator stick his head up out of the water and she shoots it. She then wrestles the alligator onto shore and drags him up next to five others, flips him over and says god dam nit, this one isn?t wearing any shoes either.

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This old couple lives in a cottage in front of an old country road with many potholes. Its 2 o'clock in the morning. It?s pouring rain outside and pitch black. This old couple is sitting up on the sofa watching TV when they hear a knock at the door. The old man goes and answers it. When he opens the door, a blonde appears and asks, "Can you give me a push?" The old man yells,? NO YOU FOOL! IT 2 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!" and slams the door in her face. He storms back to the sofa and his wife asks him who was at the door. The man told her about the blonde and how she wanted a push. The wife says, "Well, when YOU were in need of a push, YOU sure wanted one!" and forces him to go back outside and help the woman. The man goes outside and calls, "Ma'am? Are you still out here?" A voice replies, "Yeah, over here by the swing!"