Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here

[NiTrOgEn]

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shirt?
It stands for, "Tits Go In Front."

[NiTrOgEn]

One night a ventriloquist was doing a show one night in a small bar in Anakas. He was telling his usual dumb blonde jokes. When a blonde got up and stood on her chair and began to say "I've had enough of your stupid dumb blonde jokes. Why do you think you have the right to judge someone just because of the color of their hair?"
The man began to apologize "I'm sorry..."
The blonde then replied, "Shut up you, I'm talking to that jerk sat on your knee!"

[NiTrOgEn]

Q. What do smart blondes and U.F.O's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but you never see them!

[NiTrOgEn]

Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. I hope it's mine

[NiTrOgEn]

Q. How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
A. Scroll down!





scroll up!

[NiTrOgEn]

A blonde went into a worldwide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother Overseas!"
The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?" he asked the blonde.
"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.
With that, the man said, "Follow me." He walked into the next room and ordered, "Come in and close the door." She did. He then said, "Get on your knees." She did. Then he said, "Take down my zipper." She did. He said, "Go ahead... take it out." She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well... go ahead!" The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her lips she said loudly, "HELLO... MOM!"

[NiTrOgEn]

Q. What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school?
A. Hump me dump me!!

[NiTrOgEn]

This blonde walks up to a service desk at a car shop and asked the attendant for a new 7I0 cap. The attendant was perplexed and responded to the blonde, "Miss, I don't know what you're talking about! There is no such thing as a seven ten cap."
"Well maybe it's a seven one zero cap!" "There is no such cap."
"There has to be! I got one off my car! It's cracked and I need a new one!" by this point a couple other male employees had come over and were listening to the exchange between the attendant and the blonde. Finally, one of the employees asked the lady if she had the requested part with her. "Sure!" she said. "It's right here!" She then pulled a plastic cap out of her purse. When she laid it on the counter, upside down for the gentlemen, the burst into peals of laughter. 'What's so funny?" The blonde demanded. "Do I get the part or not. "Lady," one of the men finally stated. "You don?t want a 7I0 cap! You want an 0IL cap!"

[NiTrOgEn]

A blond stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian.
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh! You must be the person who took our phone book."

[NiTrOgEn]

One day two blondes were reading a news paper there was an add for a police job intrigued by the job they decided to go try out when they got there the second blonde got kind of scared and told the first blonde to go first and if she did good the she said she would try. So the first blonde went in and went to try out the sheriff saw her coming and thought whoa she is really blond I?ll go easy on her. So first he asked her whats 1 plus 1 she put her hands together and said 11 he said well if you look at it like that ok next what are two days of the week that start with 't' she said well today and tomorrow she said. Well ok now the last question who kill J.F.K she stared blankly for a while than said that?s going to take awhile she left and the other blonde asked how?d it go. Oh it was fine he asked me a couple questions and I got them all rite. He?s already assigned me to a homicide!

[NiTrOgEn]

Q.Why was the blonde dissapointed with her trip to London?
A.Because she found out that "Big Ben" was just a clock.

[NiTrOgEn]

Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.

[NiTrOgEn]

A blonde,a brunet, and a red head are about to be executed. They are asked for any last words, so the brunet yells hurricane, everyone looks and she gets away. Then the red head yells tornado, everyone looks and she gets away. Then the blonde yells fire, so everyone fires. Bang, she's dead!

[NiTrOgEn]

Q.Why was the blonde's belly button black and blue?

A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

[NiTrOgEn]

Have you heard about the new blonde paint?
It's not too bright but it spreads easy.