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Author Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here  (Read 144574 times)

Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #570 on: January 29, 2010, 11:46 »
:rofl:
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #571 on: January 29, 2010, 11:49 »
:pmsl:
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Offline Nita

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #572 on: May 04, 2010, 21:15 »

 The very first-ever Blonde GUY joke.... And well worth the wait!

 An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work
 on
 scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

 They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and
 cabbage!
 If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to
 jump off this building."

 The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
 get
 burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

 The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna
 sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and
 cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a
 burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the
 bologna and jumped to his death as well.

 At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd
 known
how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
 given it to him again!"

 The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos
 or
 enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

 Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.
 The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch.

Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #573 on: May 04, 2010, 22:20 »
 :hee-hee:

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #574 on: May 04, 2010, 23:08 »
:haha:
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Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #575 on: May 05, 2010, 09:05 »
:rofl:
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #576 on: June 25, 2010, 18:48 »
A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. "Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!" she screams.

Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position"

"I'm 5'2'' and sitting in the front."
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Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #577 on: June 26, 2010, 23:53 »
 :aarrgh:

Offline Clive

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #578 on: August 14, 2010, 18:46 »
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs..

The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"

The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad Hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it To a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
Decided to have some fun.. He told her to go home and blow into the
Tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started Blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little Harder, and still nothing happened.

Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first  Blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.

The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++

 
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver Thermos.  She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took It to the clerk to ask what it was..

The clerk said,

'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot,
And cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing..... .I'm going to buy it!' So she Bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?

'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things Cold,' she replied..

Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'

The blond replied..... ...'Two popsicles and some coffee.'

++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that My mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the Day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'

'Thanks, but I'd be better off
here. I need to keep my mind off it and
I have the best chance of doing that here.'

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.

'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.

'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!' 

Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #579 on: August 14, 2010, 18:49 »
:groan:
Slainthe!

Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #580 on: August 14, 2010, 21:46 »
:aarrgh:
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Offline Rodders

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #581 on: September 04, 2010, 14:53 »
You're blonde and on a bus, when suddenly you break wind.  Luckily the music is very loud, so every time you break wind, you time it with the music.

When you start making your way to the door, everyone's looking daggers at you.  Then you realise...


























...you're listening to your ipod.   

Offline Rik

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #582 on: September 04, 2010, 15:19 »
 :laugh:
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Rik

Offline Simon

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #583 on: September 04, 2010, 16:06 »
Could have been worse, she could have been singing.   ;D
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Offline Rodders

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Re: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here
« Reply #584 on: September 04, 2010, 23:25 »
Outside the golf course, a man got on the bus with his pockets stuffed full of golf balls and sat down next to a blonde.  The puzzled blonde kept staring at his bulging pockets, until he eventually explained, “it's golf balls.”

She continued to stare until couldn't contain her curiosity any longer and finally asked...

“Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”


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