Topic: Blonde Jokes Can Go Here

[Den]

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, “Look at that dog with one eye!”

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?”

[Simon]

 

[Clive]

   Love it!

[Den]

Did you hear about the pregnant blonde?

She had a maternity test to make sure it was her own.

[Simon]

 

[Clive]

 

[Den]

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of a library and said, “I have a complaint!”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”

“What was wrong with it?”

“It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!”

The librarian nodded and said, “Ah. So you must be the person who took our phone directory.”

[Clive]

 

[Simon]

[sam]

Will help with numeracy at the least.

[Rodders]

Bob walked into a pub at around 9:58 p.m.  He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.  The 10 p.m. news was coming on.

They were covering the story of a man preparing to jump off the ledge of a large building.  The blonde looked at Bob and said, “Do you think he'll jump?”

Bob said, “You know, I bet he'll jump.”

The blonde replied, “Well, I bet he won't.”

Bob placed a £20 note on the bar and said, “You're on!”  Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the bloke on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her £20 to Bob.  “Fair's fair, here's your money.”

Bob replied, “I can't take your money.  I saw this earlier on the 7 o'clock news, so I knew he'd jump.”

The blonde replied, “I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.”

[Clive]

 

[Den]

After his return from Rome, Dave couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area.

He went to the lost luggage office and told the blonde woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Dave, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

[Clive]

 

[Simon]