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Author Topic: Irish Medical Dictionary  (Read 470 times)

Offline Clive

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Irish Medical Dictionary
« on: June 24, 2011, 15:34 »
The Irish have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously ...


Medical Term                          Irish Definition


Artery                                   The study of paintings
 
Bacteria                                 Back door to cafeteria
 
Barium                                   What doctors do when patients die
 
Benign                                   What you be, after you be eight
 
Caesarean Section                   A neighbourhood in Rome
 
Cat scan                                Searching for Kitty
 
Cauterize                               Made eye contact with her
 
Colic                                      A sheep dog
 
Coma                                     A punctuation mark
 
Dilate                                     To live long
 
Enema                                    Not a friend
 
Fester                                    Quicker than someone else
 
Fibula                                     A small lie
 
Impotent                                 Distinguished, well known
 
Labour Pain                              Getting hurt at work
 
Medical Staff                            A Doctor's cane
 
Morbid                                     A higher offer
 
Nitrates                                   Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days
 
Node                                       I knew it
 
Outpatient                                A person who has fainted
 
Pelvis                                       Second cousin to Elvis
 
Post Operative                           A letter carrier
 
Recovery Room                          Place to do upholstery
 
Rectum                                     Nearly killed him
 
Secretion                                  Hiding something
 
Seizure                                     Roman Emperor
 
Tablet                                      A small table
 
Terminal Illness                           Getting sick at the airport
 
Tumour                                      One plus one more
 
Urine                                         Opposite of you're out
 

 

 

 
 




 

Offline GillE

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Re: Irish Medical Dictionary
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2011, 16:02 »
 :laugh:
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is readily adopted.

(Schopenhauer, Die Kunst Recht zu Behalten)

Online Simon

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Re: Irish Medical Dictionary
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2011, 16:19 »
 :thumbs:
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