Topic: My Satnav

[Clive]

I have a little Satnav

It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver's friend

It tells you where you are



I have a little Satnav

I've had it all my life

It does more than the normal one

My Satnav is my wife



It gives me full instructions

On exactly how to drive

"It's thirty miles an hour" it says

"And you're doing thirty five"



It tells me when to stop and start

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever

Safe to overtake



It tells me when a light is red

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively

Just when to intervene



It lists the vehicles just in front

It lists those to the rear

And taking this into account

It specifies my gear



I'm sure no other driver

Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car

It still gives its advice



It fills me up with counselling

Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it

And get a quieter sort?



Ah well, you see, it cleans the house

Makes sure I'm properly fed

It washes all my shirts and things

       And - keeps me warm in bed!       

 

[Rik]

How true...

[Simon]

[Den]

Linda went to the dentist the other day and when she came out she could hardly talk as one side of her mouth was still frozen. I sent her back in to have an injection on the other side of her mouth just to shut her up completely. 

[Rik]

  I'll tell her. 

[Den]

You would to, but at least she would not be able to answer back