What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why are men so bad at sex and driving?
Because the ****** always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.
Why do blokes like smart women?
Because opposites attract.
Why are blokes like old bras?
They hang around your boobs all day and give you no support when it's needed.
How do know when a blokes had an orgasm?
He snores.
What's the difference between a bloke and a vibrator?
A vibrator won't make you sleep in the wet patch.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Blokes always miss them.
What's the best thing to come out of a penis when you stroke it?
The wrinkles.
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Men are like ... Laxatives ...They irritate the s**t out of you
Men are like ... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are
Men are like ... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them
Men are like ... Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why
Men are like ... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips
Men are like ... Coffee ... The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night long
Men are like ... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say
Men are like ... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always ½ off
Men are like ... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature
Men are like ... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion
Men are like ... Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while
Men are like ... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last
Men are like ... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright
Topic: One liners (Read 386 times)