A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us."
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A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to
have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"
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A Yorkshireman's wife dies
and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words
"She were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stonemason, who assures him that the headstone will be
ready a few days after the funeral.
True to his word the stonemason calls the widower to say that the
headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that
it's been engraved:
"She were thin."
He explodes, " 'ells bells, man, you've left the bloody 'e' out,
you've left the bloody 'e' out!"
The stonemason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that
it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day the widower returns to the stonemason, "There you go, sir,
I've put the 'e' on the stone for you."
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:
"E, she were thin"
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Bloke from Barnsley , with piles, asks chemist,
"Nah then, lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies, "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
..................................................................... ....
Police have just released details of a new drug craze prevalent in
Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire clubgoers have started injecting Ecstasy just
above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "E by gum".
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Then there was the dyslexic Yorkshireman, who wore a cat flap on his head !
( think about it ? )
Topic: Duz tha speak Yorkshire ? (Read 645 times)