The Jewish E L B OW
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door.
With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in.
Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?
"What . . . You coming empty handed?"
Wise Italian Grandfather
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their
handguns down through the family.
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson
to his bedside. Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan'
you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so
you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns..How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" "You lissina me, boy. Somday you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautifulwife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe
finda you wife inna bedI rish with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? pointa to you watch and say Times Up' "?
Irish blonde...
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived
at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated
and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll
of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she
stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and
with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and
down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!"
She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her
winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?"
The other answered,
"I don't know.. I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are
dumb,..... but all men...are men!
Topic: Ethnic humour (Read 580 times)