Out of the mouths of Grandchildren ....
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
"But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
"Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel roughly around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tyre; it hung from a tree in our garden. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said,
"I wish I'd known you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said,
"No, how are we alike?”
"You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read yet."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.
At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should learn some of these colours yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our holiday chalet, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting flying insects and moths. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,
"It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with torches."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "Mine says I'm 6 to 8."
10. A junior school girl came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting." she said.. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about an emergency worker," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.
"Do you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Yes," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
Topic: Out of the mouths of grandchildren (Read 499 times)