Topic: It's important to have priorities in life.

[Clive]

As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but  p**sing everyone off is a piece of cake.

Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore…..
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.

Lance Armstrong:  I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong,  especially  after what he achieved,  winning 7 Tour de France races, whilst on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my f-ing bike.
 
Drive  By:  A guy broke into my apartment last week.
       He  didn’t take my TV,  just the remote.
       Now he drives by and changes the channels.
       Sick b*****d!

       VIDEO  SCAM   
       Just got scammed out of  $25.  Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
       Turns out it's all about golf.  Absolute waste of money!
       Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
 
       Pregnant  Prostitute: Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?"
       "Hey dumb ass, if you ate a can  of  beans would you know which one made you fart?"

     

[Simon]