Topic: Groaner thread

[Rodders]

Q.  What's brown and sticky?


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A.  A stick.

[Simon]

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?

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Picket!  

[Clive]

Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a
different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, too.

But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that
Brewster's bell had not rung at all!

Zeb went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing!  The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet,
do his job and walk on to the next one.

Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation!

The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise.

[TR]

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[TR]

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[Clive]

[TR]

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[Serenity]

 :funny:  

[Camstop]

Q: What do you call a homosexual dinosaur?
A: Megasorearse

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotopuss

Q :What do you call a dinosaur with no eye?
A: Doyathinkhesawus.

Q: 10 cows in a field, Which ones closest to Iraq ?
A: Cow 8


Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?!?"


Bill & Ben are sat in a bathtub, Bill goes "flobalobalob" Ben says "if that stinks I'm getting out!"

[Serenity]

:funny:  Cammy your getting Worse    

[Camstop]

A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing
with
delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any
idea
how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care. I just

came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an

18-year-old."

The husband said, "What did he say about your 55-year-old arse?"

"Your name never came up," she replied.

[Camstop]

priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane.After a while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"The rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.
"The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly. He was silent for about five minutes,and then he said,
"Beats f*ck out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

[Camstop]

A brigade of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice
call from behind a sand dune. "One man from West Virginia is better than ten Iraqis."
The Iraqi commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune
whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes and then,
silence.
The voice once again calls out "One man from West Virginia is better than one hundred Iraqi."

Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune
and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle,
again, silence.

The Rebel voice calls out again "One man from West Virginia is better than one thousand Iraqi."
The enraged Iraqi commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and
cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.

Eventually one badly wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back over the dune and
with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more
men......it's a trap. There are two of them.

[Camstop]

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag???
Ones white plastic and a danger to children the other is what you put your shopping in!!

[Camstop]

2 parrots on a perch one says to the other can you smell fish.



think about it..