Topic: Groaner thread

[Simon]

 

[Den]

A cowboy walked into a saloon and ordered a whiskey.

When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"


"Rustling," said the bartender.               

[Simon]

[Clive]

 

[Clive]

Dai had been a loyal employee on a South Wales sheep farm for the best part of twenty years. Approaching his third decade in the job, however, Dai suffered a mid life crisis and decided that he simply must have a career change. Thinking about different possibilities for a new life direction, he called to mind his fondness for James Bond movies and decided that was the ideal job for him. Soon, his application to become a secret agent found its way ro the desk of the MI6 recruitment director at Vauxhall Bridge in London. Called in for interview, Dai was asked to explain his previous employment history. After providing a detailed insight into his many years on the Welsh sheep farm, the spy master apologised to Dai saying that he would not be suitable to join them as a secret agent as he had no relevant previous experience. "But I've worked on a sheep farm for twenty years!" protested Dai. "And how, exactly, is that relevant?" asked the Diector.
"I would make a great Shepherd Spy," said Dai.

[Den]

  

[Simon]

[Simon]

A teacher asked three of his pupils to state the odd one out among potato, cabbage, and knife.

The first pupil said, "The knife is the odd one out because the other two are vegetables."

The second pupil said, "The knife is the odd one out because it is the only one that contains metal."

The third pupil said, "The cabbage is the odd one out."

"How do you work that out?" asked the teacher.

The pupil replied, "You can make chips with the other two."

[Clive]

 

[Den]

 

[Den]

I was bored so l swapped all the sweets into different wrappers.

My wife isn't amused ... she got her Snickers in a Twix.   

[Simon]

[Clive]