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Author Topic: Groaner thread  (Read 198985 times)

Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #150 on: May 01, 2003, 19:37 »
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

 8)

Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #151 on: May 01, 2003, 19:38 »
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the
steaks are too high.'

 ;D

Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #152 on: May 01, 2003, 19:39 »
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself

 :-[

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #153 on: May 01, 2003, 19:50 »
Absolutely dreadful!   :heehee:

Offline Simon

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #154 on: May 01, 2003, 19:59 »
I went to the doctor and said it hurts when I lift my arm.  "Well, don't do it" he replied.
Many thanks to all our members, who have made PC Pals such an outstanding success!   :thumb:

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #155 on: May 07, 2003, 15:58 »
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order.
"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.
"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.
"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.
"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.
"I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter! to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered water all evening?"


You're gonna LOVE me for this....

Hold on to your seat .




The third piggy says -

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #156 on: May 08, 2003, 07:18 »
;D

A Duck walks into a bar and says "

Got any bread?"

And the barman says "No"

The next day the Duck returns and says "Got any bread?"

And the barman, "No!".

The following day the Duck returns and says "Got any bread?"

"I told you yesterday, N-O NO!"

The next day the Duck returns and says "Got any bread?"

"For cryin' out loud - N-O spells NO and I mean NO! !"

The day after the Duck returns and says "Got any bread?"

"Look, if you ask me one more damn time if I've got any bread, I'm going to nail your damn beak to the damn bar!!"

The next day the Duck returns and says

"Got any nails?"

"No!"


"Got any bread?

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #157 on: May 08, 2003, 07:24 »
:pmsl:  Good one to start the day Hook!

Offline Serenity

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #158 on: May 08, 2003, 08:12 »
:pmsl:    :funny:  ah well thats made me smile  ;D time for work!  8)

Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #159 on: May 08, 2003, 18:17 »
;D

Two Punks are making love on the floor of their apartment, listening to punk music as they do.

The Punkette asks: "Is that Johnny Rotten?"


"No" replies the Punk "I've only used it twice!"

Offline Clive

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #160 on: May 08, 2003, 18:24 »
:mg:

Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #161 on: May 09, 2003, 07:14 »
A Plane was flying through the jungle when suddenly the engine stalled. The pilot ejected and drifted gently down to land. Unfortunately he landed in a large cooking pot which was gently simmering over a low fire.
All the local tribesmen turned to look at him until the chief, blinking in disbelief asked, "What's this flier doing in my soup?"

 ::)

Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #162 on: May 09, 2003, 07:21 »
Another just to set the day up with a smile  ;D

Two fisherman are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea. "What's this?" asked the first fisherman, "It looks as if someone is drowning!"
"No," explained the second fisherman, "It's just a little wave."


Offline TR

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #163 on: May 09, 2003, 12:24 »
A husband and wife had a human cannonball act in the circus.
One day the wife ran off with the lion tamer. The husband
was extremely dejected. The strong man asked him what he
was going to do.

The husband answered, "This is a disaster. I don't know where
I'm going to find another woman of her caliber."

 ;D

Adept

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Re:Groaner thread
« Reply #164 on: May 09, 2003, 13:35 »
:eeek: just when you thought the jokes couldn't get any worse ;D ;D

:thanks: Hook :)


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