Topic: Groaner thread

[greenking]

:funny: I like that one cammy it's too good to be in the groaner thread

[Camstop]

Ok..I hate to disapiont so try this one for size...


why did the boy throw the butter out of the window......

















so he could see the butterfly
 

[Camstop]

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm
bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."

As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold , Justin turns into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight . While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck.Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse) .

Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal . "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best
friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again. Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked". "Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.".................












........."I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian!"
   

[Shaz]

That is probably one of the worst jokes ive ever heard ...........................................................But ive gotta admit I laughed!!!!!

[Clive]

I have to admit that I've seen it before but I think it's one of the funniest ever.  Probably says a lot about me really.  

[Adept]

I have to admit that I've seen it before

At least twice on here ...

[Shaz]

A man walks in to a Bar.................................................................. ..........OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! :heehee:

[TR]

Milking the Cow

One early morning, a farmer was milking his cow. The farmer was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear.

The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder!

[Clive]

A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

                    ---

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

                    ---

A backward poet writes inverse.

[DJ]

Hoax Phone Calls:

A bloke keeps ringing me and singing Prince Charming - Stand And Delivery down the phone.

I keep telling him to p**s off but he's adamant.

 

DJ1UK

[Camstop]

I had to larf at that one...

[Simon]

There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree, off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first bloke (Don Pedro). "ees a bacon tree!!!

We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.  His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe,

"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run, amigo, run!!  Ees not a Bacon Tree"

 ... Page Down, its worth it !

















 Keep going !





















 Go on !


























"ees... a.... Ham bush"  

[Camstop]

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel
was knitting! The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the
driver, "PULL OVER!"

"NO," the blonde yelled back, "It's a SCARF!"
 

[Clive]

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a
small medium at large.

                       ***

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed
in the end.

                       ***

When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

                       ***

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

[Michelle]

:good:


The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the desert. After they had set up their tent, they laid down for a restful night. After a few hours, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful companion. "Tonto, look up in the sky and tell me what you see." Tonto replied, "Me see millions of stars." The Lone Ranger asked, "What does that tell you?" Tonto pondered the question for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident that the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Kemosabi?" The Lone Ranger stared silently at his friend for a moment, then said, "Tonto, you idiot! It means someone has stolen our tent!"