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Author Topic: Groaner thread  (Read 199123 times)

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #690 on: January 20, 2011, 16:41 »
Saw it coming, but...  :groan:
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #691 on: January 20, 2011, 16:46 »
An unfortunate turn of phrase.  :devil:
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #692 on: January 20, 2011, 16:54 »
Indeed.  :hehe:
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #693 on: February 06, 2011, 12:39 »
Little Johnny gave his teacher a blank piece of paper.

Teacher: What is this?

Little Johnny: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass.

Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass?

Little Johnny: The cow ate all of it.

Teacher: (looking at the paper again) Then, where's the cow?

Little Johnny: Gone to find more grass.
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #694 on: February 06, 2011, 12:43 »
 :laugh:
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Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #695 on: February 06, 2011, 12:43 »
Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven Sir

Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven

Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Six.

Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?

Johnny: Seven!!!

Teacher: Where do you get seven from?!?!?

Johnny: Because I have one at home!!!
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #696 on: February 06, 2011, 12:44 »
:lol:
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #697 on: February 06, 2011, 15:25 »
Brilliant!  Best jokes of the year so far!   ;D

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #698 on: February 06, 2011, 15:59 »
Crikey, standards must have plummeted lately!  ;D   
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Offline Rik

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #699 on: February 06, 2011, 16:05 »
 :laugh:
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Offline sam

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #700 on: February 06, 2011, 17:36 »
 :laugh: :laugh:
- sam | @starrydude --

Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #701 on: February 06, 2011, 19:32 »
Standards?    :o  Nobody told me about them!   :bawl:

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #702 on: February 06, 2011, 19:50 »
;D
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Offline Clive

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #703 on: February 22, 2011, 20:15 »
There was a Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jack, who was very interested in making a pound where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time.
Eventually the Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest churches. Jack put in a painting bid and because his price was so competitive, he got the job. And so he set to, with a right good will, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and...yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with the turpentine.
Well, Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jock fair off the scaffold to land on the lawn.
Now, Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, "Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

Offline Simon

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Re: Groaner thread
« Reply #704 on: February 22, 2011, 21:26 »
 :aarrgh:
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