Topic: Groaner thread

[Simon]

 

[Den]

The psychology teacher had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the students. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the teacher asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”

A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “Would that be Manchester United manager?”

[Clive]

 

[Den]

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started   

[Clive]

 

[Simon]

 

[Den]

A man attending a wedding asks the person sitting next to him, “Hey, have you noticed how horrible-looking the bride is? Man, she’s ugly!”

” I beg your pardon, That’s my daughter you’re talking about!” the person responds.

“Oops! I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know you we’re the father.”

“I’m not, you stupid idiot. I’m her mother!”

[Simon]

 

[Clive]

 

[Den]

Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out how to understand women?


He died laughing before he could tell anybody. 

[Simon]

 

[Clive]

 

[Den]

A boy at shool asks his teacher to go to the bathroom. His teacher tells him he has to sing the alphabet. the boy says,
 “ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ.”
 His teacher asks,
 Where’s the P?
 The kid says,
 “Running down my leg.”

[Clive]

 

[Simon]

And indeed, where's the 'c' in school?