Topic: Groaner thread

[Den]

The bartender says…”we don’t serve time travelers in here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

[Simon]

[Clive]

 

[Rodders]

I filled the car up earlier and didn't notice I'd spilled petrol on my sleeve.  Then, after driving off, I lit up a fag and my sleeve burst into flames.  So I opened the window and stuck out my arm to try and blow out the flames.  Now the police are doing me for having an unlicensed fire arm.

[Simon]

[Clive]

 

[Rodders]

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at me when I was in the supermarket earlier.  Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries.

[Simon]

[Clive]

 

[Rodders]

A Catholic and a Hindu are making toast.  Suddenly the Catholic exclaims, "Look there's an image of Jesus in my margarine!"  The Hindu says, "I can't believe it's not Buddha."

[Simon]

 

[Clive]

 

[Rodders]

I was walking past my fridge earlier and thought I heard the onions singing a Bee Gees song.  But when I opened the door it was just chives talking.

[Simon]

 

[Clive]