A Womans dog is drowning in the sea.
A passing German tourist dives in, pulls out the dog, resuscitates it & saves its life.
'Are you a vet' asked the woman.
'Vet?' said the German 'I’m F**king soaked!'
· saw 2 dwarfs knocking f**k out of each other in the carpark today, probably the shortest fight I've ever seen !!! : /
· After a visit to a whore house, a man notices a green lump on his willy so goes to doc's. "That's serious" says doc, "You know how rugby players get cauliflower ears?" "Yes," says man nervously. "Well", says doc, "You've got a brothel sprout!”
· A man drags a huge metal box to the antiques roadshow at his local town. "Where did you get this from?" asks the expert. "oh, it's been in my loft for over 40 years. I think it's an heirloom" replied the man. "do you have insurance?" asks the expert. "no, should I?" asks the man. "yes, it's your water tank" replies the expert.
· My friend went to hospital for an operation to cure his premature ejaculation. I rang & asked the nurse how he was doing..she said "It's still touch & go" : /