LOT'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back
and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My
Mommy looked back once while she was driving," he announced
triumphantly, "And she turned into a telephone pole!"
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GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
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DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot
of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
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HIGHER POWER
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning
how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a
Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
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MOSES AND THE RED SEA
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines
on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got
to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the
people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for
reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the
Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his Mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom, but, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!"
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THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one
of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember
the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first
line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he
stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my
Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
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UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of
his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
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BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does
she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
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UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle
from one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched
him into silence and, after church, asked, "Tommy, whatever made you
do such a thing?"
Tommy answered soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!"
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TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
"Yes, sir." the boy replied.
"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
"No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime."
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ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless
every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and
past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer,
Kelli would say, "And all girls."
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you
always add the part about all girls?"
Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying
'All Men'!"
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SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer."
said his mother.
"I don't need to," the boy replied.
"Of course, you do." his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer
before eating at our house."
"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house
and she knows how to cook!"
Topic: Biblical humour (Read 411 times)