The cat next door is not very well.
It is recovering from a bad stroke.
Went into town and there was a girl selling magazines in the street. She looked very unhappy and about to cry, so I reached in my pocket and said
Here you are love, A big tissue.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, “What’s up Abdul, won’t it start?”
The wife and I went to a fancy dress party, dressed as bank-robbers……to be fair, I went. But I made her stay in the car, with the engine running