Topic: Even nicer jokes

[Den]

1: This morning on the way to work I wasn't really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights.
    The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf.
    He said, "I'm not happy."
   
    I said, "Well, which one are you then?"


2: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
    The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me."
   
    The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."


3: A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for.
   The barman replies, "If you can jump up and pull  one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar £100. Do you want to have a go?"
   
   The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, "Nah, the steaks are too high!"

[Clive]

 

[GillE]

3: A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for.
   The barman replies, "If you can jump up and pull  one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar £100. Do you want to have a go?"
   
   The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, "Nah, the steaks are too high!"

 

[Simon]