1: “Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.”
2: “New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.”
3: "I was born in Melbourne with a precious gift. Dame Nature stooped over my cot and gave me this gift. It was the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others."
4: "There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously."
5: “Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.”
6: “Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.”
7: "Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century."
8 : I'm trying to think of a word to describe your outfit ...affordable."
9: "The best jokes are often only understood by one other person."
10: "If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up."
11: “My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.”
12: "This double chin was grafted on to me, in Brazil. It belonged to Elizabeth Taylor. It was her left love handle."
13: "Andrew Lloyd Webber doesn't need necessarily to be on camera does he? I think the old phantom could have lent him a mask or two... No I'm teasing, and he'd know if he's watching, which I hope he isn't."
14: "I'm not racist. I love all races, particularly white people. You know, I even like Roman Catholics."
15: "I'm better than Judi Dench, much much better and I'm afraid taller!"
16. Political correctness means nothing to me. Nothing. It's the new Puritanism, darling. Preventing us from expressing ourselves.
Topic: Barry Humphries Quotes (Read 1813 times)