My Wife isn't talking to me, she said I had ruined her birthday.
I'm not sure how... I didn't even know it was her birthday.
I was so happy and content as I watched the wife drift off last night.
Her dinghy's got a puncture and she's a poor swimmer.
A man tells his Rabbi, "I have a strong desire to live until eternity.
What should I do?" "Get married," said the Rabbi. "It's that simple?
Would that allow me to live forever?" He said.
The Rabbi replied, "No but the desire will disappear".
Last night after a few beers my mate asked if he could stay on my sofa.
I had to explain to him that I'm married now; so that's where I sleep.
My wife said she's leaving me, because I invade her privacy, too often.
At least that's what it says in her diary.
As my wife and I headed off on a romantic holiday, we talked about what
kinky things we'd like to do with each other.
She said, "I've always wanted to be handcuffed";
So I planted a kilo of "coke" in her suitcase.
Wife to husband, "Let's go out and have some fun tonight!
Husband:- "O.K., but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on".
Son:- "Dad I've got a part in the school play. I play a man who's been married 25 years.
Dad: -"Maybe next time, you'll get a speaking part"!!!.
The wife accidentally hit our cat with her car.
The poor thing was asleep on the couch at the time.
My mate is thinking about asking his ex-wife to Re-Marry him...
But he's worried, that she will think, he is just after her for His Money!!!.
Two guys were in a health club, one is putting on lace knickers.
"Since when do you wear women's pants"?
"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment of my car"!!!
My wife left me for another man. All that lies ahead now, is a miserable pointless life, where suicide seems the only way out.
While he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub' with my mates every night.
My wife left a note on the fridge, " It's not working. I can't take it any more: I'm going to my mum's house"!
"I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold. What is she talking about?"
My wife said that, I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason.
Topic: A couple or so, you may not have heard! (Read 1564 times)