Topic: And GOD Created

[Clive]

I think this is hilarious! I NEVER HEARD CREATION EXPLAINED THIS WAY
BEFORE!!!
 

1. In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy
lives.

 

2. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy CremeDonuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with
that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add
some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

 
3. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the
cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

 
4. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the
side . And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the
repast.

 
5. God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it
needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the
roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake"
and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's
Food."

 
6. God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil
changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and
gained pounds.


7. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into
chips and deep-fried them . And Man gained pounds
.

8. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And
super-size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

 
9. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

 
10. Then Satan created Cuts to the Health Care System.
Amen

[Simon]

 

[Den]